Three Intensities, Three Kinds of Surviving
Mild, snarky, table-flip, and what each one actually buys you
The Mild Brush-Off
Score: 60 survival points. The mild reply is the one you could delete without thinking. "Noted, will look at it when I can", "sounds good", "on my list". It costs nothing, solves nothing, and keeps the cat employable. People use the mild tier when the other person is in the same room, or when the reply would be forwarded to someone three levels up before you noticed.
The Cutting Snark
Score: 85 survival points. The snark is a single line that lands, and then the cat goes back to looking busy. "Easy, huh. So why have I been at this for six hours?" It reads like a slip that you will not apologize for. Most of the most-shared wizard cat clips live in this tier, because the line is short enough that the viewer can imagine actually typing it, which is the fantasy the whole format is selling.
The Full Table-Flip
Score: 100 survival points, with a risk note attached. The table-flip is the reply that ends the working relationship in one message, which is why it scores the highest and why four in a row makes the cat's paws leave the keyboard entirely. "So is it 6pm tonight or 12am?" looks calm and is not calm at all. In the game the table-flip tier is what triggers the rampaging effect, because anyone who has actually sent one knows the cat deserved it.
Which tier you default to is the answer the share card is looking for. Most people think they are snark people. A large share of the players we have seen default to mild the first time, then flip.
Read Your Own Default
Five scenarios, three choices each, and a profile at the end. The profile is not which one is right. It is which one you reach for when no one is watching, which is exactly what the cat does all day.